So here’s the deal…it is ok to not be ok. I am not ok…it has been a long, tough year and I do not have it all together. As I search for ways to make this blog thing work for me and my family I keep hitting brick walls and I keep landing in places that paint this picture that everyone has it together…except me!
Beautiful websites, perfectly crafted everything, lives that are magazine worthy. Feelings of inadequacy undoubtedly creep in. Am I the only one that struggles? The only one that yells when she’s frustrated, doesn’t have a perfectly maintained house and property, is struggling to maintain a positive relationship with her children, doesn’t get enough time with her husband or God, dissatisfied with where this worldly life has led? I can’t be….and here’s how I know that some of you are in the same boat….
Tired and Weary hearts
This world tells us to succeed, to push harder, to strive, to make it, to have it all together….or you amount to nothing. Brutal reality no doubt…I keep trying to keep it all together, to put on a brave face and yet here I sit with tears welling up in my eyes.
My son is about to turn one….and it dawned on me that my grandfather will not be here to celebrate with us. He passed in April and the grief still keeps my beautiful 5 year old daughter up at night ( read more about our storm ) The fact that I have really struggled to be able to bring peace and comfort to her has my momma heart all tore up. Add to that the fact that I spend a good portion of my life working outside the home, unable to truly meet her needs and fulfill my role at home and you’ve got a double whammy. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg in the saga of my life.
Give yourself permission
So I keep trying and pushing and striving….battling myself over the weariness of my heart. I acknowledge it now, which is a major accomplishment over my former self, however I have to keep myself together because let’s be honest…the world doesn’t care about our struggle. I am desperately trying to be obedient in my walk…again, this world doesn’t care.
I have found myself digging deeper into the Word and I find comfort there. There is also some comfort found in sharing with you that I am not the one who has it all together….I am not ok. And it’s ok for you to not be ok either…why??
Because in our honesty with ourselves we find grace. HIS GRACE. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV says ‘ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.’
The only way we get to that perfect power is to acknowledge our own weakness.
Dear sisters, I beg you to not hide from your brokenness. Do not be fooled by the perfection you perceive to be all around you. Satan is clever and deceptive! Tell yourself, “it’s ok to not be ok” and then open your heart to unlimited grace from your heavenly Father.
Care to share your ‘not ok’ story?